Over the past few weeks my son has developed a major crush on a fellow student. He can’t stop talking about her and he lights up when you say her name. He also draws her countless pictures. The very first picture he made for her he nonchalantly called me over to him and asked, “Momma how do I draw a heart?” Oh what a sweetheart he wants to put hearts on a picture for me, he sure does love his mommy. I was shocked when I finally looked at the picture because I noticed he wrote in big letters, E-L-L-L-I-E right above his own name. In between the names he left the perfect space – for a heart.
“This,” pointing at the letters.
“Yes, I llloooovee her.”
What? Is he kidding? What about me? Who is this chick?
“Can show me how to draw a heart now, please?”
Immediately I felt a punch to the heart. My husband looked on with a boyish grin because he knew I would be festering with jealousy. I did help my son draw a heart though; I just drew it next to my name instead that I had strategically added to the portrait. What should’ve my response been? Invite her over for dinner? Call her mom and tell her I’m jealous of her daughter? Encourage my son to love other women besides me? Maybe when he’s older fine, however right now I want to be his number one girl. After all I went through having him he owes me, right? Yes, I’m being dramatic but I can’t help it – he’s my heart.
Apparently a son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for all her life. I would like to remind you my son is still a toddler, four to be exact, which means he is still a baby to me. I’m pretty sure he isn’t “taking a wife” anytime soon, but why only four years in have I lost him already? This is not his first crush either, (her name was Gabby) and I know it won’t be his last.
At least it’s comforting to know I have my other son who’s still a baby. I haven’t seen him trying to sneak a kiss during tummy time on his playdates, so I think I’ve got some more time with him. As much as I would love to sabotage their future crushes, I know it’s part of life and I just need to get over it. Deep inside I know I will always be their first love, but how am I, or better yet my heart, going to make it through their teenaged years and adulthood? I guess I’ll go ahead and cancel my original plans of accompanying them to prom. I may need to start taking sedatives now in preparation.
In the end, I would want nothing more than for both of my boys to experience love and have a partner in life, but I was hoping that person would be me – at least for a little while.