Here we are. Another year under our belts. A new year represents a fresh start and while most people make resolutions to get healthy, save money, or pay off debt – I’ve actually made some revelations. In light of these revelations, this year I’m letting go and saying “no”. I know, I always preach to be the “yes” girl – and that hasn’t changed when it comes to new opportunities, new friendships or taking a vacation on a whim. You should say “yes” to all the things that make you happy and enhance your life. My problem is I say “yes” too much and let guilt put me in situations I don’t care to be in.
So, while I’ll continue to be the “yes” girl to help foster positive grow, I’m now going to be the “no” girl to anything else. I know so many of us, women especially, battle with this on the daily. We try to be kind and helpful. We act from the heart. We like to take care of people and stay loyal. All good things, but not when you’re getting taken advantage of or made to feel guilty.
So, this year I plan to tighten up my “no” game and let go. Maybe you’ll join me on this journey to…..
Let go and say “no” to toxic relationships. We all have them, and they aren’t pretty. You’re both better off walking away. It will hurt at first, but you’ll come out on the other side stronger and happier. No one plans to be in these relationships, but when they develop we tend to hang on. Let go, momma!
Let go of friendships that are notoriously one-sided, meaning you’ve always been the friend while they just take advantage of you and don’t return the friendship. I had a lot of these in the past. You can’t always give 100% when they give 0%. It’s exhausting. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about them, it just means you’re removing the stress out of your life.
Let go of the friends who have unrealistic expectations of YOU. You can’t be in five different places at one time. Your family should come first and if they don’t get that – bye bye. The best friends are the ones who can pick up right where you left off even if 20 years has gone by. Keep those friends close.
Let go of that terrible job you hate. Life is too short to be stressed and miserable all the time. Trust me when I say there are so many opportunities out there if you just open your eyes and ears! Sometimes the money isn’t worth it. Remember that.
Let go of your unrealistic expectations you place on OTHERS. You can’t expect people to be the way YOU want them to be or you’ll always be disappointed and hurt by their actions. No one is perfect and that includes you.
Say “no” when you don’t want to go to a social function. I over schedule myself all the time and I’m not the type to cancel on people. I always do what I say I’m going to do. I have good intentions. It’s not that I don’t love being out and about and spending time with friends and family, but damn it – I’m tired. Ha! I can’t make it to every event this year so some of those RSVPs will just have to be a “no”.
Say “no” when people or businesses ask you to do work for them for free. I need to be better at this. I’m a blogger, business owner, social media influencer, branding consultant and author. That’s a lot of jobs. Since I have these credentials I can’t tell you how many messages I get from people asking me to promote things, write about things, or pick my brain on how to grow a business on a daily basis for free. Friends or colleagues asking is one thing, but strangers…it’s getting out of hand. Trust me – I’d truly love to help everyone and maybe one day I’ll teach virtual classes, but time doesn’t allow it now and this is how I make a living. I can’t pay a mortgage working for free. I know a lot of freelancers deal with this and it’s time we knew (and asked for) our worth.
I think with these positive changes I’ll be able to live in the moment more, focus on work goals, veg out on the couch once in a while and hug my babies until they make me stop. Now that sounds like a great 2019.
This year is the year of you. Do what makes YOU happy, learn to put yourself first sometimes. Who’s with me? Are you ready to let go and say “no”?