As a mom of boys, I spend a lot of time chasing villains and shooting spider webs out of my fingertips. Every day my son assigns me a new mission and then briefs me on what to do to catch the bad guys.
“Okay Mommy, today you are Elastigirl and Mr. Freeze is taking over Chicago, so we have to stop him! He is making it so cold outside and the flowers can’t grow!” As I run around doing yoga poses, because basically that’s really all Elastigirl does, I can’t help but laugh.
I love how my son thinks I just pretend to be a superhero, but what he doesn’t quite realize yet is that I am, in fact, a real life superhero. Sure my cape may be invisible, and my special powers may not be as cool as Iron Man’s, but my powers do help me survive the day-to-day grind of being – a supermom.
If you’re a mom and haven’t realized that you too have these special powers, let me know enlighten you now.
We have ninja-like reflexes. How many times have you saved a cup from spilling milk all over the table, dove to cradle your toddler’s head before it met the hard floor, prevented a scoop of ice cream from hitting the hot summer sidewalk, and saved their batman figurines from being flushed down the toilet by their baby brother? Too many to count, I know.
We can be invisible. Moms are the queens of the army crawl! I do this practically every night when I try to sneak out of my son’s room after I put him down for bed. I sometimes find myself scaling walls, ducking in closets, rolling under beds, and I once even pretended to be a floor lamp just to keep out of his line-of-sight.
We have the power to do multiple things at once. No one can multi-task like a mom! I can listen to a conference call, nurse my baby, cook dinner, fold laundry, and do squats all at the same time. Can you do that, Batman? Nope.
We have killer instincts. We really do have eyes in the back of our heads. We have premonitions, too. We can see scenarios play out minutes before they actually happen. We also know that whenever there is an uncomfortable silence, sh*t’s about to go down.
Elsa has nothing on our ice-cold stares. All it takes is one glare for those little minions to stop dead in their tracks. When mom’s eyes start to squint and are coupled with pursed lips – they know what’s up. It’s time to run.
We have superhuman senses. Moms can smell a dirty diaper from three blocks away! We can also spot a micro-speck of food on their face right before we lick our fingers to remove it, and we can decipher between our kids’ fake cries and the “maybe it’s time to go to the ER” cries, too.
We have magic witch doctor lips. It’s amazing how a skinned knee suddenly doesn’t hurt anymore once mommy’s lips touch it. Our sweet kisses truly do heal all boo-boos.
Living in an era that propagates endless mommy wars, we can at least agree on one thing – at the end of the day we are all pretty super.