You have heard me say many times that life changes when you have kids. No matter how hard you try to hold on to your past, your future will always seem to get in the way. Your new life will be filled with much more purpose and it will most certainly give you a new perspective; however you need to be prepared to let a few things go. Some of the hardest things to part ways with are listed below:
- Friends: I have lost a few friends after having kids. In the end they expected way more of my time and attention than I was able to give. I couldn’t balance keeping up with their lives and mine and unfortunately that wasn’t good enough. Other relationships have ceased because my idea of hanging out now entails day activities verses night activities. As much as I would love to go chug a few cocktails until the wee hours of the morning, I still have to wake up and be Mom at 7 am. Playing Mom with a hangover is pure torture. Lesson I have learned so far: To have a friend you have to be a friend, so try to reconnect as often as you can with those friends who do still make an effort to be a part of your life.
- Money: Makin’ it rain is a thing of the past. News flash: kids are expensive! This is always a surprise to new parents. You might think you have an idea of what it costs to raise a child. Think again and while you’re at it – add a few more zeros. I remember experiencing sticker shock many times when we first had our son. Daycare, schooling, diapers, formula, clothing, insurance and activities add up real quick. All of those weekend trips, dinners, nights on the town with friends, spa treatments – go ahead and kiss them goodbye. Even when you do have the extra money, the guilt stops you from proceeding because you know the money could be better spent on your kids. Damn parenting guilt will get you every time! I pray every night my kid will be a pop star or a professional athlete one day so he can pay me back after he bankrupts me. My advice: do your research so you don’t feel blind-sided, but also know you will always find a way to make it work.
- Your Body: Remember that bikini body you once had? You will spend the rest of your life chasing after it once you have kids. I know I am not the only vain one around here. We are all critical of ourselves and even if you are able to get the weight off, you will over analyze every mark on your body post-baby. Your body changes – get over it and learn to love your new one. I’m still working on this so no profound advice here, sorry to disappoint you.
- Your Sleep: All those naps I protested in Kindergarten – how do I submit a rebuttal? What I would give to take a two-hour nap every day. Sleep becomes a luxury once you have kids. Even when your kids are sleeping, you can’t shut your mind off long enough to get the sleep you need. Your internal clock will never let you sleep in late again. The only real uninterrupted sleep I get is when I have the Flu. Luckily Flu season is upon us!
- Your Heart and Mind: Every decision you make moving forward will be centered around your kids. You lie awake worrying about how you can make their life better, if you are a good parent, if you washed their favorite Batman shirt for school in the morning and if they will love you forever. They will melt your heart telling you how much they love you, and break your heart for doing something they know they shouldn’t on a daily basis. There is no pain greater then the look of disappointment on their face when you can’t help them when they are sick or afford that toy they want. They truly own you which is a blessing and a curse all at the same time. Prepare yourself because I guarantee you are in for a ride.
What are things you have noticed missing from your life once you had kids? What we have gained is for another post.