Five Rules When Play – Dating

Since becoming a parent I’ve tried to focus on building my network of new-parent friends, but truth be told, it’s been difficult. Being a busy, working mom, I barely have any energy at the end of the day. When I pick up my kids from daycare the last thing I want to do is socialize and scout out new play-date potentials.  Because let’s be honest here, I’m really just scouting out the other moms to see if they are as cool as me – who cares if the kids get along, right?  Most toddlers don’t get along anyway.  They spend all their playtime fighting and tattling on who’s not sharing. I’m the one who needs the friend – and a drinking buddy.

Through this awkward scouting process I’ve realized that rules apply when setting up play-dates, just as they did when you were a participant on the dating scene.

To help you in your quest for the perfect partner, here are five rules you need to know when jumping into the play-dating pool.

  1. Always approach the other parent as a better version of yourself. You know… like you’re the perfect mom who does it all and has it all. Why wouldn’t she want to hang around you and be just as fabulous?


  1. Make the initial interaction seem spontaneous. Meaning – you’ve actually been scouting them for a while, however you don’t want them to think you’re some kind of creep-ster. Randomly approach them and start the conversation with, “I don’t normally do this, but…”.  They know you’re a liar – but at least it breaks the ice.


  1. Ask for their E-mail address not their phone number. No one likes phone calls these days.Who has time for that? If you do get a number, only text. Just like with dating you want to abide by the three-day rule. If you reach out the same night you met, you’ll seem like a stalker who doesn’t have any other friends. Also, when emailing make sure to stress how busy you are, but may be able to squeeze them in. This always makes you sound important.


  1. Ease into the ‘Friend Request’. Wait until after a few play-dates to build a Facebook, or any other social media, relationship. Again, you’ll seem way to eager. Plus, I would rather have a few conversations before you see pictures of me from college dancing on bars that my friends so graciously posted for Throw-Back-Thursday.


  1. On the play-date make sure your kid doesn’t do the first ‘asshole’ thing. You don’t want to be the first one to say, “He normally doesn’t act like this, he’s just tired.” Truth is – your kid does act like this most of the time, but you can’t blow his cover until after the honeymoon phase. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you can settle into a nice, real, relationship and start fighting over which kid left the toilet seat up.

It would be nice, like when dating, if moms could just cut to the chase. Aren’t we a little too old for games? Weren’t we tortured enough just trying to land our husbands? Either way, if you follow these simple rules above you’re sure to build your network of mom-friends. Off to scout more play-dates!


Curbing My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – One Child At A Time

People told me when I was pregnant the second time around, I would feel like a professional and not stress near as much with this baby, but I was not convinced. Did they not know me? I, by nature, am a type A, anxiety ridden, crazy person.

Right before my second son was born I began reflecting and taking notes on all the things I did with my first son to try and prepare myself. Once I reached the end of the list, I could already feel the tightening in my chest from the anxiety. How was I going to keep up with all this and look after a toddler too? After closer evaluation I thought to myself: Is this a joke? What an idiot! Right then and there I decided it would be best if my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I – parted ways. Moving forward I would have a go-with-the-flow type of attitude, or else I knew I would drive myself straight to the grave trying to keep up. So far this attitude has been working. Not only has this approach minimized my anxiety, but I actually enjoy parenting a lot more this time around. Who knew?

Below are just a few obsessive behaviors I demonstrated with my first son that I have completely abolished with my second. I won’t be mad if you judge me for being the anal retentive person that I was. Please feel free.

  • I had to have every latest-and-greatest piece of baby gear on the market. This is Chicago. Why did I fill my tiny condo with crap I barely even used, if at all?
  • He ate every two hours on the dot. There was no veering from that schedule no matter where we were or what was going on.
  • For two weeks after his birth, I made my husband take shifts with me where we would stay up 24 hours and watch the baby sleep to make sure he was breathing. The shifts were three hours each. Question: Why does my husband still love me?
  • I sprinted to the ER for everything! Scratches, rashes, coughing, eye goop – you name it, I thought it was an emergency! I’m sure the doctors rolled their eyes each time they saw me come in.
  • I dressed him to the nine’s – at all times. He looked as if he was attending an Oscar party just to go to daycare. What baby doesn’t need a sweater vest and designer jeans to finger-paint?
  • I had four strollers! One for the car seat to snap in, one for walking, one for running and one for travel.
  • I carried hand sanitizer and would make anyone who wanted to touch him douse themselves in it first.
  • When he went to sleep – our lives stopped. No movement or noises were allowed. Maybe that’s why it took over three years to have another baby?
  • Anytime I left the house, even if to only get gas, I would take the entire nursery with me along with a diaper bag.
  • I had several outfit changes for him at all times. If one drip of salvia touched his outfit, I would change him.
  • I dressed him like he was on the bomb squad just to ride his tricycle.

Helicopter moms: ante up! I see you and raise you by a million.  While most of my friends would still say I hover more than the average mom, at least they would agree I’m no longer holding residence at the insane asylum.

I'm holding on for dear life!
I’m holding on for dear life!


Girl’s Night Out vs. Mom’s Night Out

Remember when you could call up a few girlfriends on a Saturday morning and plan a night out for that evening? You could then go get a mani-pedi, shop for an outfit and may even have time for a blowout.  The night usually started out with cocktails and a nice meal, followed by some dancing into the wee hours of the morning.  The conversation was often centered around men, careers, travel plans or some other chick you hated at your job.  You were worry-free, responsibility-free and kid-free. Those were the days.

What 'Girls Night' used to be..
What ‘Girl’s Night’ used to be..

It recently dawned on me how much my social life has changed when I planned a girl’s night out for my birthday a few weeks ago.  I enlisted some friends to help because as a working mom I barely have time to eat, let alone plan a night out.  All of my friends attending were moms too so we sent a “Save the Date” a month in advance.  Yes, a month in advance. This was a far cry from the days of “Hey, lets go grab a drink tonight”.

The night finally came and eight of my friends were able to make it. The first stop we made was a candle-making place. This is what’s now fun to us – making candles. I guess dancing on the bar is out of the question. After we made candles we went to a winery where we indulged in cupcakes and wine. We didn’t have time for a full dinner since we all have young kids at home, but I didn’t care because these were two of my favorite things paired with great company. As we’re enjoying our wine, two of the eight girls arrived late and were already in tears as they walked through the door. Wow, we’ve just started and there are already tears?  The tears used to come at the end of the night after many alcoholic beverages. We quickly got them a glass of wine and one spilled hers.  This resulted in more tears.

She explained she had a sick toddler for over a week, which in mom-land seems more like a year. She hasn’t had any sleep and only hears whining around the clock.  As she told us her sorrows she gulped down wine and we nodded sympathetically.  My other friend has a traveling husband and works full-time herself.  That alone is worth some tears.  She complained about her stressful week and how she feels like she is drowning.  Unfortunately, I can relate to both to both of them.

The night soon morphed into a therapy session for all of us.  Sometimes no one understands better than other moms.  We all complained and occasionally threw in the obligatory, “I love my kids, but”. We reminisced how girl’s night out used to be and laughed while we devoured some nachos. We discovered that none of us are Supermom, and we’re all just trying to do the best we can.  Even though there was not any dancing or throwing back shots, it actually turned out to be the perfect night – for moms.

Eventually the tears turned into smiles and we marked our calendars for another girl’s mom’s night in the near future. The next morning I woke up feeling great and I was able to enjoy my kids a little more knowing my friends share in the same struggles as I do.  Time-outs are just as important for moms as they are for toddlers – even if it’s just to make candles. I would, however, recommend that wine be involved too.  Cheers. 

Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!





7 Things You Do If You’re A Parent Of Young Children

Remember when you first found out you were going to be a parent?  I bet you swore you would never do things you saw other parents do.  You also probably thought you would still be able to partake in adult activities, maintain an immaculate home, and not let your kids dictate your life.

So how’s that working out for you?  

 Not going as planned?

 That’s what I thought.

Before becoming a parent – I too believed in this fantasy.  Now I’ve accepted the things I can’t change and have embraced the nuances that coincide with parenting young children. There are specific certainties that parents of infants and toddlers just have to succumb to. We all belong to a special club and membership requires some if not all of the following:


Your living room looks like you put a couch in the middle of Gymboree.

I swore once we had kids that our living room would remain kid-free. Unfortunately, this only lasted a few months. Now it’s plagued with toys and baby gear even though we have a designated playroom downstairs. The couch and ottoman are now used as a trampoline and the television console has become the emergency stop for all my son’s racecars. We used to have nice things – not so much anymore.  

There goes my 'adult' space
There goes my ‘adult’ space

Your car is a place where Goldfish go to die.

The car wash has actually charged me extra when I take my car in to get cleaned. When they see me pull in, half of the staff suddenly goes on break. My car has definitely seen better days, which didn’t include sticky chocolate milk stains and remnants of Goldfish crackers smashed into the carpets.


You now dine with senior citizens.

Dinnertime with kids is now at 5 pm. If and when you are able to go to a restaurant, you will only be in the company of senior citizens or other families with small children. Once you’re there you have a very limited time to shovel all your food in your face and then race home before the clock strikes bedtime.  If you don’t make the bedtime deadline your kids will turn into little demons. Not exaggerating.


You no longer get embarrassed.

The days of caring what others think are long gone after the first few hundred times your kid acts like a raging lunatic in public.  You become a pro at ignoring them and everyone else.  You also find yourself doing embarrassing things like: smelling your kids butt to see if they have a dirty diaper, licking their face to clean it and even picking their nose. 


You will never be on-time again.

Even if you plan ahead, set everything out the night before and wake up early – you will still be running late. Your kids have no concept of time nor do they care about being punctual. The simplest thing like putting on their jacket can take up to 20 minutes.  The world now revolves around them.  You’ll need to accept this early in the game in order to keep your sanity.


You know every character and song played on Disney Junior.

You can’t remember the last time you watched a non-animated show.  You find yourself singing the songs and getting excited for any new episodes of your child’s favorite cartoons – because ultimately these will serve as the babysitter when you need a break. You may even find yourself sitting in an arena watching all the characters singing and skating around on ice.  Never say never.


You have become an expert at multi-tasking.

You quickly learn how to utilize your time wisely.  Who knew you could prep dinner while feeding your baby, paying your bills, loading some laundry and even checking Facebook all at the same time? I often wear my baby around the house so I can have my hands free to take care of other things.  As a parent you have to get creative or you will never get anything done.


I’m sure there are many more behaviors that bond us as parents with small children, these are just some of my favorites.  What are the tell-tale signs of parents with small children to you?







Embracing the Stay-At-Home Mom Status

It has been one year since I resigned from my corporate job.  Although I work from home part-time, most of my time is spent as a stay-at-home mom.  The first few months of my transition where difficult as I had been working, sometimes two jobs, since I became of the legal age to do so.

I had grown accustomed to the rat race and always being in a rush. I wasn’t bothered by my phone ringing constantly, or by the dozens of people who needed me daily – all at once.  My days were filled with presentations, client meetings, analyzing budgets and attending strategy meetings. This was my normal and I enjoyed it for a long time, however when my work-life balance began to fade quickly when my son was born – my priorities shifted.  If I was going to bow out of the race for a bit, there wasn’t a better time to do it. So….I did just that, gracefully of course. Carpe diem!


At first I marveled in the thought of finally having time for me. I envisioned a life of leisure – spending my days working out, lunching with friends, running errands and doing things with my son.  Unfortunately, this fairy tale never came to be.  The reality was my frantic corporate job was much easier than being a stay-at-home mom. I am just as busy and my days revolve around entertaining a toddler.  My presentations are now crayon drawings of stick figures labeled: Mommy and Sebastian.  Boy.. are their attention spans short or what!? It’s a constant dog-and-pony show around here. 

The days have flown by and we finally figured out a schedule, until we welcomed our new baby in November.  Now I am back at square one.  I’m hoping by his 10th birthday, I will have it together.  All of this is a far cry from my life just a year ago, however through it all I have learned to embrace the benefits of being a SAHM.

Some benefits (for me) are:

More time with my little men!

This is obviously the biggest advantage of staying home. Before, I was lucky if I got to kiss them goodnight. Our weekends were often rushed with activities and chores, which translated into stress and anxiety.  Now I get to hug and kiss them a lot more, which I am sure they love too!

SAHM friends!

First order of business after my resignation was to make other SAHM friends.  It’s hard to have SAHM friends when you work because once you get home you are doing the same thing they’re doing: baths, dinner and bedtime routines. Making new friends allowed me to get adult time and give my kids new playmates. Plus you have someone who gets how being a SAHM is just as difficult as working in the corporate world. Trust me – adults can act like children just as much as your toddler can.

Embracing the yoga pant!

My first few weeks at home I dressed up – literally.  What was I thinking?  You are thrown up on all day, why would I wear something nice?  Then one day I put on my yoga pants to work out in…. and they stayed on for the next ten months.  First, yoga pants are extremely comfortable and second they make everyone think you are a regular at the gym.  Suckers! My only warning is that yoga pants can somewhat trick you – we often forget they stretch. This means they still fit after you binge on cake and nachos.  Then you act surprised when you put your jeans on and they seem a little tight. Ladies, don’t let the yoga pants fool you; you really do need to work out. Damn it – I thought I found a short cut!

Yay no more suits!
Yay no more suits!

HGTV/ Food Network

TV was a luxury I just didn’t have time for.  On the rare occasion time did allow for TV, it was showing Disney Junior.  Not that I have a lot of time for TV now, but when the boys are napping I can feed my obsession with HGTV and The Food Network!  I learned to cook from The Food Network and HGTV brought out the designer in me that I didn’t even know existed! You just have to be careful not to get the bug to renovate your entire house from all the ideas you get.  House Hunters International makes me feel like I’m exploring the world from my very own couch.  Who says you need to pay for an expensive, exotic vacation? It’s all right there on HGTV!

VIP at Starbucks

Starbucks takes on a whole new role when you’re a mom – it’s your escape. It may be the only adult contact you receive all day, and they make you a delicious, energy-boosting beverage.  The only way your beverage could be better is if there were alcohol in it!  It’s also awesome that you don’t have to wait in line like cattle during rush hour!  All the barista’s know me and are involved in my life.   They know my drink and have it ready as soon as I enter the store, and they even act like they love my kids. I heart you Starbucks!

Less guilt

When I was working full time I always felt guilty.  Do my kids know me? Am I neglecting them? If I went to get a haircut or went to the grocery store without them, I felt like it was one less minute I should be spending with them.  In doing this I created more anxiety for myself.  I needed (and deserved) that time for me too. Now since I spend most of my time with my boys, as soon as my husband gets home I have no problem running out the door for a pedicure. It’s a win-win, we spend time together and my feet aren’t hideous!  I actually enjoy my me time without feeling like I have to rush home now.


I’m sure there are many more, but these are my top observations over the past year. As a work-a-holic, I thought I would absolutely hate staying home and it turns out – it’s pretty awesome! I have fully embraced this new chapter in my life. What are your favorite things about being a SAHM? Or a Working Mom? Share with us.


To All the Father’s Out There: It’s Not You, It’s Us.

As you may already know women are innately crazy, especially when in regards to our children.  We are overprotective, jealous, and all-knowing when it comes to the well-being of our babies.  It comes from a place deep inside, and we are unable to tame it. So know the next time we yell at you for something you did with the kids, we truly can’t help ourselves.  We just see things completely different.

what mom sees

Right before we had our son a month ago, I sat down next to my husband and told him I wanted to apologize in advance.  With a puzzled look on his face he followed up with a hesitant,

“For what? Do I dare ask?”

“You’ll see after the baby is here, so remember this sincere apology.”

I wanted to apologize early because I remembered how I turned into a certified lunatic right after we had our first kid.  Nothing he could do was right when caring for our baby.

“You’re not being gentle!”

“His diaper is too tight!”

“Wash your hands before you touch him!”

“Cuddle with him!”

“Don’t cuddle too tight!”

“Don’t shove the bottle in his mouth!”

“You’re going to slow!”

“You’re not going fast enough!”

In the essence of time, I will stop there or else I could probably go on forever.

With our second kid I was hoping, (hoping being the operative word), to be less of a psycho, but I knew the odds were not in my favor.  I am a woman and I am also obsessed with my kids. Plus, just like in pregnancy a woman’s hormones are a complete wreck after the baby until her body gets back to normal.  This alone is a recipe for disaster.

I have tried to explain this phenomenon to my husband many times, but it’s hard to find the right words.  I usually start with saying, “No one loves these kids more than me,” which is true, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them.  He’s a great father and I know he loves them deeply….just not as much as me.

These two are inseparable!
These two are inseparable!

All fathers must understand that we spent what seemed like a lifetime baking these kids.  We fell in love with them as soon as the pregnancy test boasted a positive sign.  We felt their hiccups and movements in our bodies. We gave up wine and sushi for them.  We went through horrendous pain and sacrificed our bodies to get our babies here. Once they arrive, it’s our boobs that leak when they cry.  After all this, the last thing we want is for someone else to harm a hair on our precious little miracles heads.

I want all fathers to know that the excessive nagging and micro-managing truly comes from a place of love.


Life (Or Lack Thereof) With a Newborn

As many of you know I just had a baby.  He is not my first, but in many ways it feels that way.  My older son is three, so it seems like he was a baby a lifetime ago. I thought I remembered what life was like with a newborn, however I was wrong. I only remembered the basics: sleepless nights, lots of poopy diapers and, of course, vomit comets.

I forgot how your schedule is so tight with naps and feedings.  You literally have no time for anything!  Showers are a luxury at this point.  Anytime I sit down to eat or try and shower the baby suddenly manages to wake from his comatose nap.  It’s like he has mom radar:  MOM needs 5 minutes to shove food in her face or wash her dirty booty – time for me to wake up!

I also forgot that I am the human equivalent to a cow.  I make so much milk that not only do I breastfeed, but I have to pump too.  This is beyond time consuming.  I’m trying not to complain because I know I am losing a ton of calories a day. Every night I pray the skinny fairy will continue to grant me all this milk, because it is undoubtedly helping me on the scale.

Already out of room!
Already out of room!


Another lost memory was when you get close to your newborn to feed them and their little heads shake side-to-side in desperation until their piranha mouths latch on. Newborns wiggle a lot, so along with their super human strength it makes it hard to calm them down enough to feed. While feeding they grunt and swallow loud enough for the neighbors to hear.  I laugh at this every time. I only pumped with my first son because he wouldn’t latch, so I didn’t realize how painful breastfeeding could be. Three weeks in and my lady lumps are pretty much numb, so I think I’m past the electrocution feeling you get when they first start feeding.  Dramatic I know, but ask any woman and she will tell you the same thing – it hurts!

I did remember the sleep deprivation. It seems worse the second time around, mostly because I now have two kids to tend to. Nights are always entertaining around here. My husband has been a saint with helping in any way possible even though he has to work.  The only problem is ­– he is a very heavy sleeper, and by that I mean I could blast a trumpet in his ear and he still wouldn’t wake up. It usually takes a dozen times calling his name and shaking him to wake him up. I, on the other hand, can hear a single drop of water drip in the sink and spring awake.  He also wakes up very confused and out of it. I always tell him to take a minute to gain consciousness before he takes our newborn down the dark stairwell. The other night he volunteered for the 2 a.m. shift, so when I heard the baby starting to wake I woke him up, then I turned back to the bassinet to comfort the baby until he came to get him. After a few seconds I looked back and my husband was gone.  Where did he go? Bathroom?  Why are all the lights off? What’s happening?  I called his name and then heard him coming back up the stairs.  As he came into view I saw him carrying our 30-pound toddler.  He did not just take the wrong kid!  Yes, he did. Before I could open my mouth he said, “Don’t ask, I have no idea what I’m doing.” He laid our older son in the bed then came and grabbed the baby.  The next morning we were in tears laughing.  This is one story he will never live down!


Overall, the biggest adjustment has been getting used to being a mom of two. Surprisingly my older son has been very accepting of his new baby brother.  When I saw him for the first time after the baby was born it was surreal.  Suddenly he wasn’t my baby anymore and he looked huge!  How did he get so big overnight?  Is he taking growth hormone behind my back? Stop growing so fast, my heart can’t take it! 

I feel so blessed to have my two boys and am enjoying every minute of this journey. My life feels complete. Now – if I can just get my husband to feed the right kid, I think we will be all right.


Things You Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

Pregnancy is definitely a love/hate relationship.  One of the things I do not love about pregnancy is all the advice and comments you get – particulary from strangers. Lately I have found that these unwanted gestures tend to get worse as you near your due date. When someone says something to me I usually just smile or do my best to fake a laugh.  Luckily I am not one to take offense easily, so if you know me and have said any of these things listed below – do not fret as I still love you. I have been keeping a list of things not to say to pregnant women to educate all the non-baby vessels (men) and judgmental moms out there. So if you fall into one of these categories – listen up.

“Your boobs are huge!”

Do not under any circumstances say this.  Much to my dismay, I’ve had a huge rack my entire life so why are you surprised they are larger during pregnancy?  This is what happens when you are creating a life in your belly.  The milk has to have somewhere to store itself! Also, stop comparing yourself to me after you make this comment with, “Mine didn’t get that big!” Good for you. Guess what – mine did. Have you not ever seen a large pair of boobs before?  Unless you have lived under a rock your entire life I am sure you have, so enough with the boob comments.

“You must be eating for two!”

Translation to a pregnant woman: I’m huge. Why can’t I double fist my cookies and ice cream in peace? It’s really the only time in life a woman can indulge without the guilt, so let us have it. If you are making this comment out of jealousy, then I suggest you go get yourself knocked up.


“You must be ready to pop!”

Again you are insinuating I am huge. People started saying this to me when I was seven months along. When I would tell them I had another three months to go, a look of horror came over their face. I’m 5’2 people, seven months pregnant on me looks like 20 months pregnant on a normal person. Secondly, of course I am ready.  Who likes carrying around a soccer ball in their crotch for months?  I have been ready to pop since the third month.

“How much weight have you gained?”

Luckily this has only been asked a few times, but when it was I suddenly heard a record scratch. What? Who asks this? Didn’t your momma ever teach you to mind your manners?  If you are asking from a competitive aspect, I will just lie so it makes me better than you. Just a heads up.

“Are you having any more kids?”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a question better suited for after my lady parts have returned to normal. The farthest thing from my mind right now is starting over in pregnancy! Plus your question will just result in a “HELL-TO-THE-NO!” Now, if you would like to be my surrogate along with give me a winning lotto ticket then I will reconsider my answer.

“You really shouldn’t be doing that.”

Are you my doctor? Or even a doctor at all? Then shut your mouth. Offering help is one thing but offering unsolicited advice about things that are supported in the medical community is not acceptable. I know the limits. If I want to have caffeine, I can. If I want to have a glass of wine here or there, I can too. If you see me at a bar chugging martinis and partaking in illegal substances then I fully support you not only punching me in the face, but also calling the cops to have me arrested. I think that’s fair.

“OMG, when I was in labor I almost died.”

Hey doomsday queen– look at my belly, I am still pregnant. Know what that means?  I still have to deliver this baby and the last thing I want to hear is your terrible birth story. I am still living in the possibility of having the perfect scenario of a pain free, two-push birth. I would love to hear your story but preferably after my baby is born. Deal? Good.

Sure I would love to hear... after my labor!
Sure I would love to hear… after my labor!

“It can’t be that bad.” 

I love when men say this to me. And to answer you: “IT IS!” Somewhere deep in our sadistic brains women only tend to remember the outcome of pregnancy.  This is the only reason we do it again. It is brutal and it sucks – period.  If at anytime you men would like to trade places with us through a pregnancy and birth, I will gladly take you up on that. Keep me posted.

I’m am sure this list could go on forever but these are my favorite so far. Hopefully this will clear up the air on what is appropriate and what isn’t when speaking to a pregnant woman. If you have any to add please share in the comments below.




Things You Can Kiss Goodbye After Having Kids

You have heard me say many times that life changes when you have kids. No matter how hard you try to hold on to your past, your future will always seem to get in the way.  Your new life will be filled with much more purpose and it will most certainly give you a new perspective; however you need to be prepared to let a few things go.  Some of the hardest things to part ways with are listed below:

  • Friends:  I have lost a few friends after having kids. In the end they expected way more of my time and attention than I was able to give.  I couldn’t balance keeping up with their lives and mine and unfortunately that wasn’t good enough. Other relationships have ceased because my idea of hanging out now entails day activities verses night activities. As much as I would love to go chug a few cocktails until the wee hours of the morning, I still have to wake up and be Mom at 7 am. Playing Mom with a hangover is pure torture. Lesson I have learned so far: To have a friend you have to be a friend, so try to reconnect as often as you can with those friends who do still make an effort to be a part of your life.
  • Money:  Makin’ it rain is a thing of the past. News flash: kids are expensive!  This is always a surprise to new parents.  You might think you have an idea of what it costs to raise a child.  Think again and while you’re at it – add a few more zeros. I remember experiencing sticker shock many times when we first had our son.  Daycare, schooling, diapers, formula, clothing, insurance and activities add up real quick. All of those weekend trips, dinners, nights on the town with friends, spa treatments – go ahead and kiss them goodbye.  Even when you do have the extra money, the guilt stops you from proceeding because you know the money could be better spent on your kids. Damn parenting guilt will get you every time! I pray every night my kid will be a pop star or a professional athlete one day so he can pay me back after he bankrupts me.  My advice: do your research so you don’t feel blind-sided, but also know you will always find a way to make it work.
What happened to all my Benjamin's?
What happened to all my Benjamin’s?
  • Your Body:  Remember that bikini body you once had? You will spend the rest of your life chasing after it once you have kids.  I know I am not the only vain one around here. We are all critical of ourselves and even if you are able to get the weight off, you will over analyze every mark on your body post-baby.  Your body changes – get over it and learn to love your new one.  I’m still working on this so no profound advice here, sorry to disappoint you.
  • Your Sleep:  All those naps I protested in Kindergarten – how do I submit a rebuttal? What I would give to take a two-hour nap every day. Sleep becomes a luxury once you have kids.  Even when your kids are sleeping, you can’t shut your mind off long enough to get the sleep you need. Your internal clock will never let you sleep in late again.  The only real uninterrupted sleep I get is when I have the Flu. Luckily Flu season is upon us!
True story...
True story…
  • Your Heart and Mind:  Every decision you make moving forward will be centered around your kids. You lie awake worrying about how you can make their life better, if you are a good parent, if you washed their favorite Batman shirt for school in the morning and if they will love you forever.  They will melt your heart telling you how much they love you, and break your heart for doing something they know they shouldn’t on a daily basis.  There is no pain greater then the look of disappointment on their face when you can’t help them when they are sick or afford that toy they want. They truly own you which is a blessing and a curse all at the same time. Prepare yourself because I guarantee you are in for a ride. 

What are things you have noticed missing from your life once you had kids? What we have gained is for another post.







5 Things Husbands Hate About Pregnancy

Since my husband played a small role in making our babies, I thought I would throw some love his way by asking what he hated about pregnancy. I also asked some of my friends’ husbands the same question to see if there was a general consensus.  My hunch was correct and most complained about the same annoyances. Even though our men will never know (nor do I think they would want to know) what it is like to be pregnant, they have to deal with us – so why not let them b*tch too?


When I first asked my husband to give me five things he hated about pregnancy he wouldn’t take the bait. “Oh no, is this a trap for your blog? It’s not that bad and you’re the one going through it, so nothing really”  After a little eye-rolling, probing and swearing I wouldn’t get upset at his answers, he finally obliged.

Top Five Things Men Hate About Pregnancy:

  • First, he hates that I am always hot. Not just a little hot… like swamp a** hot. I insist on the AC being turned down so low that the house feels like we are front row at the Ice Capades. He now sleeps in winter pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt.  He also uses an extra blanket at night as I lie uncovered with a glass of ice water waiting for me on the night stand. Every morning he wakes up with the sniffles and a sore throat as I am wiping the sweat from my brow. He’s even tried turning it up in the middle of the night, but I always wake up and turn it down again. Checkmate guy – don’t mess with my AC.
Adam – every morning
Adam – every morning
  • I was surprised the AC was his first complaint, I thought it would be something regarding sex.  However, the sex came second. Obviously his pool of attention has diminished with each passing month. I won’t even cuddle because I am so uncomfortable and would rather wrap myself around my pregnancy pillow than him.  Plus complaining about my hips, back, huge belly and enlarged boobs is not sexy to him apparently. I would have to agree.
  • Thirdly he hates my super-power senses. Everything smells like rotten dead animal to me.  I can’t stand the smell of his face lotion and hid it from him until after the baby is born. I won’t cook come of his favorite foods and have even moved to a different table in a restaurant because I couldn’t be near the kitchen.  I think being a little high maintenance is better than vomiting in public wouldn’t you agree?
  • Next he hates the “nesting” stage. I usually have a very long honey-do-list every weekend. My nesting along with a mild case of OCD has taken over our free time organizing the garage, the boy’s room, washing all the baby clothes, de-cluttering, etc. He never complains and always does it, but I know after a long work week the last thing he wants to do is to slave away for a moody pregnant chick.
  • Lastly he hates that I share too much with him about the pregnancy. Imagine that – me share too much? No, it couldn’t be. I like to be descriptive with my symptoms to really bring home the point. How else would he know what I’m going through? You would think after eight years together he would get used to this, but he said during pregnancy my openness is more than he can take sometimes. He doesn’t want to hear about when I pee myself or that when your pregnant you can’t poop. He finished with, “Sweetie, some things are just better left unsaid.”

I’m sure there are more but I gave a limit of five. Luckily he only has eight more weeks to go to put up with me!

What are your partners’ complaints?