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I Miss Breastfeeding. Did I Just Say That?

I know most of you are vomiting in your mouths right now, especially those of you who are currently breastfeeding.  Maybe I just miss it because I am not partaking at the moment.  Or, maybe my body is tricking me into missing it to prepare me for the long months ahead after the baby is born.

I remember with my son, I almost gave up after the first week.  He didn’t want to latch on because the milk was not coming out quick enough for his liking.  Hmm, no patience – wonder where he gets that from?  We called everyone we knew who had kids to ask for advice.  Should we get a Lactation Consultant?  Does he hate me? Is my milk bad?  Is it an allergy? Reflux? Finally we just relaxed, listened to our instincts, and it worked.

Sebe baby

I started pumping right away because I wanted to build my supply up.  Plus after he ate, I still felt engorged so I had to release all the milk.  After a few weeks I was producing 52 oz a day. You read that right. FIFTY-TWO ounces a day. I was a cow, literally. Oddly enough, I was proud of this.  If my husband wasted or spilled any of my milk, it was his ass.  This is liquid gold people! Respect!

This is what my freezer looked like... Legit.
This is what my freezer looked like… Legit.

Once I got the hang of it, I loved it.  Of course, there were a few things not to like. For example, it dominated your daily routine. You most certainly had to plan lunch or play dates around your pumping schedule.  It also was very inconvenient when life got in the way.  I once had a six-hour flight delay, and had to pump in an airport bathroom stall. Vomit. I used the handicapped stall as it had enough room, and of course, as soon as my milk let down; knock knock.  Sh*t!  

Luckily the lady had a daughter who was breastfeeding too, and we were in Texas where people are generally nice.  She replied, “It’s ok Honey, you finish up, I can wait.”  I hugged her when I stepped out and offered her my next born out of guilt.  She laughed, and passed on my offer. Good thing, because I didn’t catch her name.

Back to why I miss it: I loved that my body could provide such great nutrition for my son, and it was free!  Formula is ri-dic-u-lous-ly expensive. I also loved for every ounce of milk you produced, 20 calories were lost. Along with working out and eating healthy, I dropped weight like a bad boyfriend!  If I had a piece of chocolate, I would turn to my friends and say, “It’s cool, I can just go pump it out!” I liked seeing their faces riddled with jealousy as they wished their boobs could pump out calories too!  To be honest, this was one of the main reasons why I did it for almost a year. Selfish? Maybe. Brilliant? Yes!

Mostly, I miss that connection with my baby.  It was a beautiful thing and made me proud to be a mom. Now, come November I want all of you to remind me of this post when I am b*tching about breastfeeding.  Until then, I will relish in my fond memories.

Me and my boo
Me and my boo

About Me


Holly Rust

Chicago Boy Mom – Author – Side-Gigging CEO On The Go. Social Media Maven. Eternal optimist. Lover of travel, food, style & beauty. Follow my random thoughts, favorite things and life shenanigans here. Be sure to follow me on social, too! Links below.

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